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| DENNIS OKOI'S BLOG |
I am 25
years of age and still live with my parents at home. I won’t describe my
parents’ marriage as ideal as my father is forever accusing my mother of having
extra marital affairs.
Sincerely,
he isn’t off the target as my mother specialises in dating younger men.
Severally
my father has had to send some young men away from our premises, who come
asking to be employed as drivers. Since I spent the better part of my life away
from home: entered into boarding school from JSS 1, beyond what I experience
during the holidays and the complaints of my younger ones, I can’t say categorically
that I know my mother very well.
All I
know is that she is very fashionable and beautiful as well as a socialite.
Unlike my father who is more into his children and home, my mother doesn’t care
much about us.
We have
all come to accept her for whom she is and the times I am at home or when my
father comes to visit me in school. I always tell him not to bother too much
about my mother. I often tell him that after 26 years as a couple he should be
used to her ways by now.
It is an
open secret that my father is the one keeping the marriage; my mother doesn’t
care one bit about it. As a child, can’t recall when she went to the kitchen to
cook, I don’t even know what the taste of her food is like. She is that bad.
Although
I have always known my mother’s weakness for young virile men, not once did it
occur to me that my mother is capable of sleeping with my own boyfriend.
About
three months ago, I brought my fiancé home to meet my parents. He finished
before me and travelled to England to further his studies. He came back about
four months ago to ask for my hand in marriage. Since his parents were familiar
with me, I brought him home to inform my parents of our intentions to spend the
rest of our lives together. My father has also met him while he was still in
school.
My mother
was at home on the day he came. We all agreed on the day his parents would come
to meet mine. Three weeks after, they came for formal introduction and to agree
on a date for the introduction and wedding.
It was
during the period of our wedding planning that I ran into my mother and fiancé
coming out of a hotel close to the house of the caterer I contracted for the
wedding.
While I
was still trying to fathom what both of them could be doing in that place, my
mother oblivious of who might be looking gave him a quick peck on his lips
before zooming off in her car.
I didn’t
need to be told what they had gone to do in the hotel. My boyfriend didn’t know
what to say when I called out his name. Right there and then he confessed and
started begging for my forgiveness. He claimed not to know how it all happened;
that all he remembers is my mother inviting him over for discussions concerning
the wedding plans.
I am
pained and so confused. Our wedding is on December 18. I want to end it all.
There is no way I can go ahead with a wedding to the man who has slept with my
mother. The worst thing is my mother’s attitude. Even when I confronted her
with what she had done, her attitude was ‘so what!’
My
boyfriend and his best man have been pleading with me. My chief bridesmaid who
has been my friend since our childhood is of the opinion that my mother must
have charmed my boyfriend and that the best way to deal with her is to forgive
my boyfriend and go ahead with the marriage.
I am so
confused. I haven’t told my father anything since I don’t want to hurt him more
than she has hurt him all these years. Please tell me what to do. He is the
only man I have ever fallen in love with in all my life. We have been together
for five years and not once has he cheated on me. Even he was away, he kept
calling me religiously everyday for the 18 months he was abroad. Once he sent
money down for me to visit him. He has been that dedicated to me. He is still
insisting he doesn’t know how he ended up in the hotel with my mother.
what-should-i-do
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